Tomorrow is my first 'ultra' although I'm simply running 2 legs in a relay but it is a step closer to my goal of running a 50 miler on my 50th birthday. I've also registered for a trail run at the beginning of December in NC. Running for me is so cathartic - some days I am running 'to' and other days I am running 'from' and it feels liberating to know that the choice is mine.
There seems to be an urgency for me to run. I can't seem to get it out of my head that my time is not up! I feel that I need to get all of these steps in now before my knees give out or before 'oldness' sets in. How unfortunate that I've always felt old - I can remember in my 20s dreading that I would be 39 years old in the year 2000. And 39 still seems foreign to me.
So I run. Not something that everyone can or will motivate themselves to do. It is the only sporting activity that I am coordinated enough to do. When I am not running, I am simply an invisible 45 year old woman. It is common knowledge that when women turn 40, they become indistinct, invisible, nonexistent. When I am running, I am not invisible - I am only a runner. I belong to a club that includes all ages, genders, races.
When runners chat, among other things, they talk about shoes, PRs, upcoming races. Occasionally someone new enters the fray - it is easy to spot those who are looking for a place to belong. And they do belong - if they run, they belong.
There seems to be an urgency for me to run. I can't seem to get it out of my head that my time is not up! I feel that I need to get all of these steps in now before my knees give out or before 'oldness' sets in. How unfortunate that I've always felt old - I can remember in my 20s dreading that I would be 39 years old in the year 2000. And 39 still seems foreign to me.
So I run. Not something that everyone can or will motivate themselves to do. It is the only sporting activity that I am coordinated enough to do. When I am not running, I am simply an invisible 45 year old woman. It is common knowledge that when women turn 40, they become indistinct, invisible, nonexistent. When I am running, I am not invisible - I am only a runner. I belong to a club that includes all ages, genders, races.
When runners chat, among other things, they talk about shoes, PRs, upcoming races. Occasionally someone new enters the fray - it is easy to spot those who are looking for a place to belong. And they do belong - if they run, they belong.
